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Let's take a look at the winners, shall we? Consider this your free guest pass to tour the "Design Asylum," if such an institute exists. And after looking at a few of these products, I can only hope it does...
Ugliest Furniture Winners
First prize winner: Skin collection from Nacho Carbonell
This product, to me, isn't inherently awful. I get the idea of the elastic encasement of a desk, chair and table and can understand the amusement of stowing remotes, power cords and such inside the piece itself. What I don't get (and won't allow myself to get) is the product photography in which cords, ropes and miscellaneous items are spewing from the stomach of an end table. I'm grossed out, to say the least, and no longer feel like playing with elastic-covered furniture.
Second prize winner: The Wooly Chair from Jason Miller
I'm refusing to take this piece seriously, as the designer clearly hasn't done so himself. Unless, of course, he's planning a hidden attack against Furby and the chair is merely a pawn in The Ultimate Revenge Against Tiger Electronics' Holiday Trends. In that case, he should have called Alf.
Third prize winner: The Cipria sofa from Fernando&Humberto Campana
Is that a sofa or did my cotton candy run off with artificially-flavored bubble gum and spawn a piece of powder puff furniture? Perhaps with the recent downtrodden economy, Mary Kay directors are now being gifted sofas in lieu of the effervescent Pink Cadillac. Yes, I suppose that's it.
First prize winner: Martin the Mule from IBride
"But Mom -- Harold has a mule and he's only 13."
"Louise, if Harold jumped off a bridge, gave himself a concussion and then created a prototype donkey-turned-dresser, would you follow?"
Second prize winner: Treetrunk bench from Jurgen Bey
This is where I draw the line at the recent log/tree/nature trend. This is also where I draw the blueprints for The [aforementioned] Design Asylum, in which we won't be inviting Jurgen Bey as a guest architect.
Third prize winner: Feminoir vase from Christin Johanson
The gift for the gal who has everything... including an unhealthy affection for sink drains.
Third prize winner: "Move your energy" rocking chair from Novague
I won't be mentioning the first and second winners, because frankly, I don't understand the concept behind either of them. But what I will be mentioning is this glorious umm, sheath-like concept from Novague (which I'd like to now suggest we refer to as Novag, as in please... no vadge). In fact, the only thing I want to see "moving" in this rocking chair is U-Haul... straight out of my sight.
