In These Economic Times, is Re-Gifting Okay?

Seinfeld devoted an entire episode to it, perhaps solidifying the term in pop culture back in the '90s. Regifting. A verb, added to Webster's in 1995, meaning to give a previously received gift to someone else. But you already knew that. Everybody knows that. But what no one really knows is: What are the precise rules of regifting?

Is it okay? Under what circumstances? Are you forthright about your regifting with the regift receiver? Or do you sell it as an "I picked this out just for you" personalized present?

Ask a group of people their opinion on the topic and you're bound to get a roomful of different perspectives. Let's face it: No one really wants to receive a previously rejected gift. But in tough economic times, wouldn't it be nice to save a few bucks on a gift for Aunt Sally's birthday if you know she'd love those scented soaps your co-worker gave you at last week's Secret Santa exchange?

So, is regifting okay?

"The blanket answer," says Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute (the go-to source for all-things etiquette), "is in general, it's not a good idea. Ninety percent of the time you're regifting for the wrong reasons – and it shows."

Basically, that whole "I know so-and-so would love this, and I'd hate to see a perfectly good item go to waste" excuse? No one's buying it.

Of course there's always an exception.

"There are two types of regifting," Post says. "One, when you're deceitful about it, it should be avoided. But if you openly tell someone 'This was mine, and I'm giving it to you for XYZ reason' – that is the appropriate way to regift."

But if honesty just ain't your style, regifting isn't totally out of the question just yet. According to Post, if you are going to regift and don't plan to be honest about the process, here are four rules to follow. Can't follow these? Then don't regift. Simple as that, at least according to Post.

1. No matter what – whether you're being honest or trying to pull wool over someone's eyes – you must actually and honestly think that the person receiving the gift will really like it. To put it simply: It can't be your out for getting rid of an ugly sweater or horrible scented bath candle.

2. The gift must be in its original packaging. Someone's going to know if a CD has been opened.

3. The gift cannot be an item that is personalized, handmade or unique. If it's clear that someone else gave it to you and could be easily spotted as a regift (see number 4), then avoid the regifting.

4. It seems a bit devious, but neither the person who gave you the gift nor the person receiving can know that it's a regifted give (i.e. the original gifter won't spot your recipient wearing that paisley print scarf she got you last Christmas). You must be 100 percent sure that no one will find out -- and no one's feelings will be hurt.

On Regiftable.com, a pro-regifting Web site (shocking), you can read an assortment of war stories – and lessons learned -- from the regifting battlefields. In one submission, a woman received a cookbook and, without opening the front cover, gave the book to a friend – who (as you can guess) discovered a personalized note to the original recipient inside.

The moral of the story? Getting caught is bad so avoid it at all costs.

As I type this, I'm already running through a handful of gifts I received this holiday that would find a much happier home regifted to my friends or family. I've yet to decide if I'll follow Post's rule of honesty and be forthcoming about my regifting.

Of course, if you happen to be a friend or family member reading this, you should know that any gift you receive from me in the near future will be something I hand selected just for you.


More questions about the rules of regifting? Here are a few extra tips from the Emily Post Institute:

Is it OK to secretly regift to close family or friends?
You should never be devious to the people you love most. Family and close friends are likely to understand your purpose in regifting. And if you're giving for the right reason (you know he or she will truly love the item) then there's no harm in being honest.

If someone gives me a gift that I don't like and know I'll be regifting, should I be honest about it or lie and say I love it?
Whenever you accept a gift, do so graciously. Smile and say thank you. You don't need to lie and say "I love it," but being blunt about your dislike is disrespectful and will likely hurt their feelings.

Is regifting a bottle of wine for a hostess gift acceptable?
Yes. When it comes to a hostess gift, it's OK to grab whatever you have on hand in your wine collection. Just be sure that, if it's a unique bottle of wine, that the person who originally gave it to you won't be attending this particular party. If they will be, call that person ahead of time and let them know that you hadn't had a chance to enjoy the wine yet and see if they'd mind if you brought it to this event for all to enjoy. It shows the person that you appreciated their gift.