Jessica Cumberbatch Anderson: Is DIY Dead?
From Fashion's Runways To Your Home
This robot's welcome in my home anytime. Photo: iRobot.
Bring your most clever comment and win a Roomba!
The great Dorothy Draper said "it is just as disastrous to have the wrong accessories in your room as it is to wear sport shoes with an evening dress."
Well, we'd love to hear her thoughts on the homes on one of our favorite sites -- Lovely Listing from the Cheezburger Network (you know, the one so brilliantly brought us Lolcats). They've got the most ridiculous gallery from homes for sale -- a scale by the door? A room teeming with porcelain dolls? Or with electrical outlets? It sounds nuts, but sometimes after flipping through shelter magazines and design blogs full of perfectly-placed-and-plumped ikat pillows and glossy kitchen islands, these disastrous rooms are exactly what we crave.
So we're delighted to wish them a happy second anniversary and best hopes for many more years of telephones in the bathroom and a continued obsession with white plastic chairs.
And to celebrate, we're giving away the ultimate home companion: A Roomba! As Lovely Listing says, "A robot that stops your house from looking like a Lovely Listing entry."
But that's not all it does: this thing cleans up to four rooms on a battery charge and when it's ready, recharges itself. And since there are two interchangeable cleaning bins -- one that holds enough dirt for a routine cleaning and one that holds THREE times more debris -- you can swap them out depending on the size of the job.
It also runs on a programmable schedule, which means you can come home to clean floors. And unlike a family member or roommate who cleans while you're away, the Roomba requires no thank-you and does not make you feel guilty about not helping.
To win, you must explain what is happening in the photo. This is a contest of skill, not luck. Humor counts; factuality does not.
We won't even try to caption this one. That's up to you! Photo: Lovely Listing.
* To enter, leave a confirmed comment below explaining what is happening in this photo.
* The comment must be left before 11:59 pm ET on May 3, 2010.
* You may enter only once.
* One winner will be selected based on the following criteria: humor, keenness of observation, and pertinence to the contents of the photo.
* One winner will receive a iRobot Roomba 562 Pet Series. Approximate Retail Value of prize is $399.99.
* Open to legal residents of the 50 United States, the District of Columbia and Canada (excluding Quebec) who are 18 and older.
* Click here for complete Official Rules. Winners will be notified by email, so be sure to provide a valid email address!
Reader comments (Page 3 of 7)
Some ambitious home-flipper has taken on the task of flipping Buffalo Bill's home (ala Silence of the Lambs) and made it so much more cosy! Wait, did you hear that? I could have sworn I heard someone calling "Precious"... Must be that old wind howlin' again.
ReplyAfter the Justice League was finished and had headed down to their basement Stove Man was left to guard the entrance to their secret lair. Super Man made a motion and it was seconded by Robin that Wonder Woman was no longer allowed to pick out the paint colours for decorating.
ReplyRaggedy Ann & Andy's kitchen remodeling project sadly ran out of budget before it was finished..
ReplyOven huddled in fear, listening to the sounds of the witch and her wicked appliances in the cellar below. If only Oven had listened to his parents, and not ventured into the dark wood! The candy house seemed so inviting when the blizzard began, but now poor Microwave was gone, and Oven was to be roasted for dinner when the evil hag returned. If only someone would follow the trail of burnt breadcrumbs to his rescue! If only he had some means of locomotion!
ReplyThe heavy trudge of old appliances approached from beneath when suddenly, through the window, Oven saw the legendary Chair approaching across the white field! As the trap door opened, however, Oven could only wonder if his hero would be in time....
This is the typical look of our home remodeling projects. My husband tried to surprise me for mother's day by renovating the kitchen. Low and behold, in the middle of the renovation, the television beckoned with the cheers emanating from the football game. The left side of the couch has a big indentation because my husband has not left the couch since that time. This was my kitchen last year. I'm hoping that it gets a little further in the process or I may just have to surprise him for father's day by hiring a contractor to finish the project!
ReplyAnd now for the off-Broadway performance of...... "Range on the Home"!
ReplyLead role played by the seasoned actor Cook Range.
Female lead played by Crystal Dish.
Along with the talents of brothers Trap and Paneled Door.
Special guest appearance by The Missing Kitchen Appliances Gang - Sink and Refrigerator.
Get your tickets now!
The Colorful Kitchen plays Star Trek again.
ReplyStove whines "Why am I always last to beam up?"
Very cool vacum.
ReplyIt is obvious what is happening here. Left to pine away for his bygone days as a top prize on the Price is Right, Stove finally snapped and demanded his own stage (just like in his TV days). Poor Refrigerator had to go (you see his outline on the floor where he fell). Sigh...Stove never could take competition...
ReplyStove knew that the tribbles would soon overflow from the basement to the kitchen so he prepared to beam himself to safety.
ReplyWitch Hazel swore up and down she was going to catch that rascally Bugs Bunny and have the Hassenpfeffer meal that she was so ready for and that meant Oven Ambush!
ReplyChair had been an adventure fanatic since his first encounter with Indiana Jones. It was rare for Chair to be turned in such a way that he could see the television in the wood-paneled living room that had been so heinously carpeted in shag of an unsettling vomit color, but there were times when he finally had the opportunity to enjoy the on-screen action.
ReplyIt soon became an obsession. Chair knew that to actually have the chance to meet his beloved Indy, he would have to prepare for an adventure of his own. To Chair's dismay, however, there was generally a lack of characters that looked like him. 'They must be in disguise!' he finally decided. Chair began to plan.
The homeowners chalked their missing possessions up to moving. Honestly, who hadn't lost random bits of metal and plastic while moving at least once? Chair, having never left the discomfort of his shag prison, was unsure just how far he'd have to travel to meet Indy.
Disguised, nearly flawlessly, as an oven, Chair proceeded to scoot into the room adjacent to the living room. Sensing danger, Chair flattened himself tight against the wall. He was familiar with booby traps and trip wires. He sidled along the wall, quite pleased with his daring.
Chair paused to take inventory of his surroundings. He had never seen such colors, outside of his precious television. Clearly the strange periwinkle walls and rust accents were part of some sinister, challenging puzzle that he would have to work out before moving on. Finally, he noticed the strange floor box.
Chair quickly deduced that this poorly disguised rectangle was a simple pressure switch. Once triggered, the door would fly open, and he'd have moments to pass through before it slammed shut once again. Chair decided, thanks to his countless hours of adventure movies, that the bizarre color puzzle on the door was merely a decoy. Any fool stupid enough to manipulate it would be killed or trapped indefinitely.
There was only one way, Chair knew, to exert enough force to trigger the switch. He needed to jump from a higher surface. Chair spent several minutes attempting to crawl atop the counter. He wiggled and grunted to no avail.
With a sigh, Chair crossed the room to the lower raised platform, knocked himself over onto it and stood himself back up. Chair crouched and prepared to leap.
Will Chair succeed in triggering the pressure switch? Can Chair make it through the door in time? Will Chair ever find Indiana Jones? For the answers to these questions and more, stay tuned for the next exciting adventure of Chair!
Ghastly Paint Schemes and Unexplainable Architectural Features: the key to making your ancient appliances shine!
ReplyWhat's going on in this kitchen? Proof that in our house, function is the clear winner over form. I shared with my son that this picture is my inspiration for our new kitchen. His response? "Okay. But when we get it, could we sell the stove and get one of those double ovens?"
ReplyWith one final glance back to the multi-colored circus-of-hell kitchen he had been forced to call home after his ship crashed 20 years ago, Gordblat leaped onto the newly working transporter pad. He had dreamed of this day for so very long....No longer would he be forced to disguise himself as a kitchen appliance and fight for his survival. He was once again free to explore the cosmos and claim them for the glory of sentiant appliance-peoples all over the galaxy!
Replythat was the last time willy wonka sent an oompa loompa to sherwin williams alone...
ReplyOne day....I will get a new 1990 oven. Until then, my 1950's pride and joy.
ReplyLooks like the kitchen got moved to the bedroom.
Replyoh no here she come to try to cook the stove jump up on platform to try to hide
ReplyHarold didn't have much money, but he had excellent survival skills. He could hunt and fish and he was real handy around the house. It seemed the only thing he couldn't do worth a lick was cooking, but he was working on that. He figured that a wife was what he needed to take care of that problem, and he was setting out to get one. And the first step to getting a woman in the house was to make her a place for the cookin' since that's what she'd really be there for. And he had fixed her up a place for that, just right all the way.
ReplyStepping back to admire his handiwork, he wiped his brow and slicked a long lock of thin brown hair out of his eyes and back over his shiny head. It was a kitchen that would have made his momma proud.
It wasn't just the designer colors he picked right from the clearance bin at the Ace Hardware in town, or the custom exhaust hood he built to hide the dented one he'd picked up at the salvage yard. Harold had seen to every detail, from gingham curtains he found at the Goodwill that almost matched the paint perfectly, to dishes set out on the counter like he was expecting company any minute. The stove, of course, was his main concern, and he wanted to make sure it took center stage. So he did, in fact, build it a stage. Perched on its genuine pine-finished platform and highlighted by a niche painted mustard gold against the rare burnt orange finish, it was ready for action. And so was Harold.
There were other details, of course, that he hoped a lady might not notice right off. As long as she didn't try the remote switch by the door, things should go his way real soon.
Outside the window, he'd already landscaped with a pair of old tractor tires and half a bathtub. It was all part of the plan. He had played this scene out in his mind a thousand times while he'd been working. "Take a look out the picture window," he'd coax his guest. "You've got to see the flower garden, Miss Mary." And she would step over to see the flowers and birds, and when she was finally in the perfect spot, he'd hit the button and down she'd slide. He'd gotten the idea watching cartoons one morning, and he knew a trap door was the real solution to all his problems. He did a real good job on getting that thing working right, and he was pretty sure that his potential wife wouldn't even see it before she was standing right in place. They never seemed to notice it on television, anyway. And once he had her down there, it was just a matter of convincing her to stay. He was sure he could do that if he could just talk to a lady long enough!
At first, he'd puzzled over how to get a woman in the house and in his kitchen in the first place. He'd tried before, but none of the ladies seemed to pay him any attention, and nobody ever came to the house. But it came to him one night when he was flipping channels on the television. There it was - the one sure way to get a woman inside and looking in every room!
He whistled as he dialed the number he'd written down from a billboard in town and waited for the answer. "Patio South Town Realty, Mary Maple, how can I help you?"
"Yes ma'am, I have a secluded country estate I'd like to list with you, when could you come take a look at it for me?"
"Oh, I'd be delighted! I could come this very afternoon! What time is convenient for you...?"
(its okay to laugh at this...its written by an actual Realtor!)