Formal Table Settings Rules and When to Break Them

Do you know the basic dos and don'ts of table setting?

The idea behind formal table settings is not just to show off your silver. You're looking to create a gracious setting, but also one that takes your guests' convenience into consideration. As early as 1902, proper table setting was a concern. Many hostesses consulted "Mrs. Seely's Cook-Book: A Manual of French and American Cookery with Chapters on Domestic Servants, Their Rights and Duties and Many other Details of Household Management," for the proper placement of china, silver, crystal and linens. The order she recommended is still observed today.

Rule 1: Do use a service plate (charger). Mrs. Seely recommended one at ever place setting. Place the dinner plate on the charger before food is served, for extra layering and texture. In table settings at fine restaurants, the dinner plate is whisked off the table, and another one comes back complete with your dinner. If only the charger is there when dinner is served, the dinner plate can be placed on top of it, or the dinner plate can replace the charger. Charger plates are set at least two feet from the center of one charger to the center of the one next to it, and an inch up from the bottom edge of the table.

Rule 2: Do not have more than three of anything at an individual table setting. Mrs. Seely said it back in 1902, and it still holds true: No more than three forks, spoons or knives. Your table settings should not look like surgical tool displays, nor be confounding to your guests.

Rule 3: Never leave an empty place in front of a guest. Even before dinner is served, silver or flatware should be in place, as well as the charger, service or dinner plate, and the appropriate glassware. This is your best opportunity to create a masterful tablescape. Go on, show off your heirloom china, crystal, and shining silver before everybody comes in and disturbs the table setting with food and elbows.

Rule 4: Silverware should be lined up with the bottom edge of the charger. Arrange the forks to the left of the plate in this order: Salad fork to the far left, then dinner fork, then dessert fork. Above the tips of the forks, place the butter knife on the bread plate, horizontally. Place the knife to the immediate right of the plate, then arrange the spoons with the teaspoon first, and the soup spoon farthest on the right. If there is a dessert spoon, place it above the plate, horizontally, or bring it out with the dessert.

Rule 6: Depending on the courses, you may use anywhere from one to six glasses at every place setting. The basic three should be set in this order: Water goblet, red wine glass and/or white wine glass. Behind those would go the champagne flute, and in front of it the sherry glass. Generally, rather than being placed in drinking order, bigger glasses go behind smaller glasses, starting with the water goblet placed above the knife.

Rule 7: Know how plates are placed. The bread plate is placed about an inch above the tip of the longest fork. In the center is the charger plate, then the dinner plate on top, then the soup bowl goes on top of that.

Rule 8: Make sure you know what to whisk away between courses. Whether you're clearing your own table or you have hired help, make sure the soup is served first, and the bowl is then removed to make way for the salad plate, unless the soup is the main course. In that case, salad is served first and the used salad plate is removed to make way for the soup. If you have a salad or relish plate that needs to stay on the table throughout dinner, place the salad plate to the left of the forks. Cups and saucers go to the right of the spoons, with the top lined up with the top of the dinner plate.

Rule 9: Napkins should be left or center. It is always proper to fold the napkin into a long rectangle and place it to the left of the forks. It's fine to fold it and place it in the center of the charger or dinner plate too, if there is no soup or salad bowl there. Or, you can learn the art of napery, or creative napkin folding, from "Mrs. Beeton's Every-Day Cookery" book of 1912. Here is the basic fan fold: Fold the bottom third of a starched square napkin up, and fold the top third down over it. Turn the napkin so you can make short "accordion" finger pleats from one side to the other. Hold the pleats together at the bottom, and fan them out at the top. Then you can place each napkin in a napkin ring, in the water goblet, or even the empty soup bowl, for a decorative touch.

Rule 10: A candelabra, or gleaming candlesticks and flowers, make a tasteful formal centerpiece. You do want to make sure that anything with mass such as a floral arrangement stays below chin-height in order not to obstruct the guests' view and inhibit conversation. Nothing is more annoying than dodging the dahlias at dinner in order to see your guest.

Breaking the Rules
Don't tell Mrs. Seely or Mrs. Beeton, but rules are made to be broken, especially when done with elan and flair. Here are some ideas:
1. Fan the flatware out or line it all up horizontally on a half-folded napkin to the left of the plate. Or, roll the napkins tightly and place them bouquet-style in bud vases.
2. At a table setting for four, use a different colored napkin at every place, and place one below the plate, one to the right, one above and one to the left. You will have created a colorful pinwheel!
3. Serve dessert in the wine glasses.
4. Display mix and match china.
5. Use parfaits as a centerpiece by circling them around the lazy susan in the center of the table. If you like the way it looks, your guests will too.

Finally, the cardinal rule of every dinner is to have fun. Even Mrs. Seely and Mrs. Beeton knew that.

Linda Louise Johnson contributed to Shelterpop.com using Seed.com. To find out how you can contribute, go to Seed.com