We Have a Roomba Winner!

One lucky -- and clever -- reader wins a Roomba.

Who knew that you, dear readers, could make us laugh so hard? Just about all 128 comments on our Roomba-winning contest with Lovely Listing cracked us up. That stove on stage proved a worthy inspiration!

We now offer our congratulations to the winning entry, who sums up the scene in an pun-filled ode to the range.

"All Hail Range! Range is our Leader, Father, and Protector!"

This was the common salutation in the "Home on the Range Collective," which demonstrated all the characteristics of a cult. Initially brought together by the passionate, heated rhetoric of Range, the cult ended in tragedy after Range's warped interpretations of passages from The Joy of Cooking led him to preach to his followers that the proliferation of fast food drive-thrus, Chinese take-aways, and delis were "plagues" signifying the "End Times." Ultimately, he told followers that the only way to remain pure was to "unplug." Although Blender's insides were churning, and Fridge was cold with fear, all of the other kitchen appliances obediently dropped down through the trapdoor. Once they were in the basement, Range unplugged them all, including his own sons, Toaster and Waffle Iron.

As is typical of megalomaniacal cult leaders, Range himself did not commit suicide, but waited defiantly on his pedestal, warning that any who tried to get him to "turn on" to the new culture would "get burned." Ultimately, however, he burned out, and the only reason the events are known at all was that Air Freshener was left behind, instructed to tell any who asked that he was "scent to tell the tale, that the truth would not be mist."

Lovely Listing references some other favorites on their post and we're still enjoying re-reading the kooky, slapstick, dry and just plain hilarious comments that came in. Hope you guys bring your A-game for our next upcoming contest!

As for the winner, we're assuming they'll have some good jokes about how lovely their life becomes once the Roomba arrives.



Thanks to iRobot, Lovely Listing and all you our fun and witty readers!