When Mom Steps Down as Thanksgiving Host

This year Mom will be a guest at my table as I host Thanksgiving for the first time, and it's making me realize just how much she's taught me.

My mom has hosted Thanksgiving for as long as I can remember. My aunts, uncles and cousins as well as my immediate family would gather at our house on Long Island for turkey and all of its trimmings. And my mother, who had a house full of people to feed, took her job as holiday cook very seriously.

I took the day pretty seriously too. Growing up I was her little helper, grabbing whatever she needed (spices, butter from the fridge) as she cooked. I'd help clean up and set the table. The next day I'd sit beside her and entertain our guests. As I've grown older, I have taken on more responsibilities (when I was 12, I could finally help serve the food!), and at 33, I'm about to host my first Thanksgiving for my family -- with my mother as a guest.

Well, sort of. Call me the co-host. My mother isn't ready to retire completely. She looks forward to hosting Thanksgiving all year long, and she has done so since she was a little girl growing up in Brooklyn, New York. She would shop with her dad for ingredients, cook beside her mother and help them both set up the numerous folding tables they used to accommodate their many guests. She and her sisters would eagerly await the arrival of guests, looking forward to the chocolate turkeys they would bring along for them.

Determined to carry on the tradition, Mom worked hard to involve me in the festivities growing up. Just as she would rise to the smell of a turkey roasting and a sweet potato souffle in the oven, so did I. Just as she and her mom stopped their preparations to catch the Radio City Rockettes perform at the end of the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, so did I. And each year I learned a little more about playing host.

By the time I was in high school, I was the one making our family's treasured stuffed mushrooms (a ricotta cheese filling is our secret!), rather than just watching Mom make it. Post-college, I wasn't just setting the table, I was helping her decorate it. She asked for my opinion and input of where her handmade wreaths should go and how to arrange her treasured collection of Thanksgiving-themed Christopher Radko ornaments. When I began working on photo shoots as a magazine editor, she let me indulge my inspirations, creating festive centerpieces such as a cornucopia filled with beaded faux fruit or fresh flowers to go along with her decor. She always encouraged me to contribute my own ideas alongside hers, and I loved it.

As I've gotten older and moved into a home of my own, it's been harder to sit back and be the helper. I'm stubborn, and I like to be in charge, just like her, and I've had to bite my tongue when she was doing something I disagreed with. But in recent years, Mom and Dad have gotten older -- they're in their late 50s. Mom has suffered from scoliosis her entire life, and as she's aged, it's become harder for her to do what she used to, especially cook at the stove for long periods of time.

This year, Mom is trusting me to carry on her traditions. After all, she gave me a basket full of Thanksgiving goodies at my bridal shower -- everything from a large roasting pan and turkey lifter to leaf-painted goblets and autumn-themed hot mitts.

I feel ready to have Mom as a guest at my table. I know her recipes by heart, everything from her stuffing secrets to her stuffed mushrooms. Mom has even suggested we try some new recipes; she's been tearing some out of magazines for me. My husband is making stromboli, a tradition that began a couple of years ago -- Ok'd by Mom, of course.

Still, I won't be cooking the turkey. The masterpiece of our family feast is still all hers, and I won't be touching it until it comes out of the oven. My mom cooks her turkey in a brown paper bag, carefully sprinkling the bag with water every 15 minutes so it doesn't burn, and her bird is always moist and delicious.

Change has been coming to our Thanksgiving table each year. We're always embracing new guests, and we are 15 now. We made room when my cousin married, then when I married, and more recently when my cousin's twin daughters were born. Those little girls are now the center of our holiday with their own little spots at the table, special holiday dishes, adorable turkey chair covers, and of course, there are always two chocolate turkeys on the table for them now, all courtesy of Mom.

This year, when Mom sits down for Thanksgiving dinner -- my first Thanksgiving dinner -- she'll have a chocolate turkey waiting for her too. I can't wait to see her face.

My Mother's Top Thanksgiving Tips
A seasoned hostess shares her top tips for a well-organized and delicious Thanksgiving.

Perfect Prep

• Shop for as much of your grocery needs as you can, at least two weeks in advance. Don't forget to pick up seasonal favorites like apple cider, nuts and figs!
• One to two weeks before, refresh dinnerware, glasses, utensils, silverware and serving pieces. Wash what needs to be done by hand and the rest load in the dishwasher.
• Make sure you have enough clean oven mitts, hot pads, kitchen towels, dishwashing soap, scouring pads, paper towels and any other cleaning products you may need.
• Wash and air dry your tablecloths and napkins (if applicable). Fold neatly on a hanger until you're ready to iron and set the table.
• Prepare stuffing the day before, as well as any other baked dishes. It's best to leave yourself with the least amount to do the morning of, as you will be focused on cooking the turkey and any other last minute tasks.
• Set your Thanksgiving table the night before. To prevent dust from accumulating, turn glasses upside down and place napkins on the plate.

Turkey Talk

• If you bought a frozen turkey, make sure to thaw in refrigerator three or four days in advance. I place a kitchen towel under the turkey to soak up the water as it starts to thaw.
• While cleaning and preparing the turkey, don't forget to remove the giblet packet from inside.
• Set your alarm to wake up early on Thanksgiving morning. How early depends on the suggested cooking time for the weight of your turkey, planned in accordance with your dinner time.
• Make sure to let your turkey sit at least 20 - 30 minutes before carving.

Check out the rest of ShelterPop's Thanksgiving coverage!

For more great holiday ideas, visit our sister site Holidash!

And of course no Thanksgiving is complete without KitchenDaily's amazing Thanksgiving recipes.